March of Dimes

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RETURNING TO WORK AFTER THE DEATH OF MY ANGELS

Traci Lynne

May 2008

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MOTHER'S DAY

May 11, 2008 06:37pm (EST)

This is my first Mothers day with Noah and it was a great day! Alyssa and Matt made me breakfast, which was very nice. Alyssa made me a gift in school and a beautiful card. Noah gave me a wet kiss and a big smile. It was enough to make my day.
We made gifts for our mothers which we made hand prints of the kids and put them into frames. They turned out so cute. I looked at the frames of Noah and Alyssa's hands prints and thought to myself that two little hands are missing. I love mothers day but I hate it at the same time. Knowing that two little girls should be here with us. I guess I will never get over this when it comes to holidays like this. The pain is always going to be there and the what should have been will always be in our thoughts. Though we don't understand the way god works we have to accept and move on but never forget. Never forget that they we given to us for a reason even though it was short.

Just wanted to wish all of you a Happy Mothers Day!!

Here are some new pics!

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (3) | Permalink

HARD TIMES!

Apr 08, 2008 06:58am (EST)

The girls birth and death has come and gone and the pain is stll as real as the day they left us. It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years already. It still feels like yesterday. Remebering them inside my belly, feeling them move and kick each other. Remebering holding their little hands in mine. Remebering their little faces and how they both looked so much like us. Remebering how long we waited to have them and having them taken from us just doesn't seem fair. Remebering them in my arms as i watched the life that i tried so hard to give them fade from their eyes. Even thought these memories are hard for me, they are the only thing i have left to hold on too.
I look at Noah and see so much of them in him. The way he smiles, his eyes and so many other features he has of them. I am so blessed to have know them for the two days that i did and more blessed that God gave us our son. He and his Sister are the joys of my life and i thank my lucky stars to have been blessed with them.
I miss you Caileigh and Rylee and know that you will always be in my heart.

Here are some new pics of the kids.

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (3) | Permalink

THE KICK OFF!!

Mar 07, 2008 06:47am (EST)

Matt and I went to the kick off meeting last night. As Matt has said in his blog, we were asked to be the ambassador family for our area. We are so honored to be asked. Matt spoke at the meeting and listening to him tell our story my heart just sank. After he was done reading i don't think there was a dry eye in the house. The local news cam and interviewed us and it was on the news last night after the meeting. Tell our story was hard but worth it to get the word out that people can help so this doesn't happen to anyone else. I'm attaching my favorite picture of Noah. Hope you like it!

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traci & noah

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (2) | Permalink

PICTURES!!

Feb 17, 2008 05:28am (EST)

I down loaded some new pics of Noah. He is growing up so fast!! Hope you enjoy them!!

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (7) | Permalink

ROUGH FEW WEEKS!!

Feb 16, 2008 05:40am (EST)

Sorry i haven't blogged in awhile but there has been so much going on lately. I found out that my 26 year old brother has cancer. It was a big blow to me. He is also handicap and i watched him over the years go threw surgery's and pain and now this, i'm not sure what to think. He is in a very good hospital in Syracuse, NY and my mother is out there with him. I want to bad to go and see him but i don't if i can stand to see him like that. He has his last Kemo treatment on Thursday and now it's just a wait until they do another bone maarow test to see if they got it all. I pray to god that they did. I can't take anymore heartache in my life.
Noah and Alyssa are doing great though. Noah is laughing and smiling all the time. He is trying to pull himself him up and trying to sit up. He is growing so fast. Where is the time going. Alyssa is getting ready for her big ice show in March. It's her favorite thing to do is skate. She also started taking claironet lessons too. It can be hard on the ears but she likes it. Other than that everything is going ok. Just have to take one day at a time. Well Matt is making me breakfast so gotta go. I will keep everyone posted on my brother and I'm getting some new pics of Noah so i will posted them maybe next week.

Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HELLO

Jan 09, 2008 07:23am (EST)

Sorry i haven't written in awhile but it has been so heckit here. Still trying to get our new house in order and my father went back into the hospital. Pnemonia again!! This is twice in about a months time. He gets out today but they are sending him to see a specialist in Burlington VT. And then poor Alyssa was at a friends house and got kicked by a horse. She is ok, just bruised alittle. But she was milking it for all that it was worth. Other than that everything is ok i guess. Noah is getting soooo big!! He weights 13lbs 7 oz and he just turned 3 months!! But he is healthy and that's all that matters to me. We found out that he was allergic to his formula, so they put him on Soy and now he has allergies. I thought it was just a cold but i guess he is going to follow in his fathers footsteps with that one. And i think he is teething. It's been awhile since i knew what the signs are for that but i think the big give away was that he keeps putting his fist in his mouth. Well gotta go to work but here are some X-mas pics.

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HAPPY BUT SAD!!

Dec 30, 2007 06:07am (EST)

Christmas was great for us. Santa went alittle overboard as he always does. Both the kids got alot of stuff. Alyssa got a teleascope that she always wanted as her and Matt are both into looking at the stars together. Noah got alot of stuff even though he can't play with half of it yet. But as I sit there on the floor with Noah in my lap, my mind drifts off to my girls. Wanting them here with me so much. Wondering where they were at that moment. Sometimes I sit there and i know things happen for a reason but it still isn't fair. I know if the girls hadn't passed then I wouldn't have Noah but it is still so hard. I wonder all the time if they would have looked like me or Matt. When i look at my son i see alot of both of them in his eyes.
Oh got to tell yo all this one. As you all know Matt works in Radio, well instead of raising money just for March of Dimes they are raising money for the Children's Miracule Network. Right now Drew is on the roof of our local Super Walmart with the managers and for every 100.00 they raised they had to stay up there for an hour. Crazy i know. But they started on Friday and they are still up there having raised 5500.00. They only expected to raise 2400 dollars. And of course we live in the North Country of New York and it is so cold and it rained and sleeted this weekend but it all for the children he said. I let you know how things go.
Oh i will post some new pics of the kids when i get a chance. It's been pretty busy trying to get my house back in order.

Mommy loves you Caileigh and Rylee.

Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (2) | Permalink

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Dec 17, 2007 07:33pm (EST)

I know I haven't posted inm a while but we just moved into our new house and everything has been so hectic!! Everything is going great! Noah had his first shots and his poor little legs were sore but he is doing good. It's had to believe he will be 3 months old already. Where did the time go!! Anyway i just wanted wish you all a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!! I'm posting some pics of Noah.

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (5) | Permalink

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Nov 22, 2007 08:07am (EST)

Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Me i have alot to be thankful for this year. The birth of my son, my first fullterm baby. I think that is a big accomplishment for me. Plus, my brother-in-law got into a car accident last Friday and we are so thankful that he is alive. He walked away with only bumps and bruises, but from the looks of his truck he should have not walked away from it. I told him that he had two little angels with him that night. Happy Thanksgiving Caileigh and Rylee!! Mommy and Daddy love you both very much and Thank You for Helping Uncle Pat. We will forever be grateful.

Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (4) | Permalink

I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT!!

Nov 11, 2007 01:14am (EST)

Well next weekend at the hospital that the girls passed away at, they are having some kind of memorial for babies and children that have passed away. Which i thought was really nice. Each family can send in pics, poems and any kinda of writing in memory of that child. We sent in the girls picture and a poem that we have on a plaque that a friend made for us. Now that the date is almost here i don't know if i can go. My mind wants to go but my heart is still breaking and I don't know if i can handle it. They say that time is suppose to heal a broken heart but it has yet to heal mine. Matt says that it's up to me if i want to go. He is so much stronger than me in so many ways. I'm sure that he hides it well from me.
On another note, Noah is 6 weeks now and such a big boy!! He is about 11lbs and growing fast!! He is more awake and alert now and is even starting to smile. He only seems to smile for his big sister. Alyssa is so good with him and she tells me how much she loves her baby brother. She told me the other day that they had to write a letter to tell what they were thankfull for and she said her baby brother. It was so sweet!! She said that they are putting them on a local radio station and i can't wait to hear it.
Another than that I don't think there is much else going on, oh yeah we are starting to pack as we will be moving into our first home. So excited!! Here are a few more pics of Noah.

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Posted by Traci Lynne | Comments: (8) | Permalink

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